Wednesday, January 2, 2008

dark day



It is so dark and ugly here in Portland today. I cant even tell that it is day time in the house. I really like natural light, so it is hard. Ended up not having to work today. Drinking coffee, just waking up slowly. Last night was good. I think we are going to get the battery charger for our camera today, that would be nice. I sent bunny off with a bunch of oatmeal cookies, because I ate like ten of them yesterday and I need to get some away from me!!!
I took our neon green christmas tree down yesterday, which made the living room look kind of gloomy once it was gone. Oh well. Today the robin red breast is scrambling around in the yard. Cute!
Bunny will be home early today, which is nice. i like it when he gets home around 3 pm.
We watched my favorite movie, The Taste of tea last night. That movie always makes me feel good. It is filmed so pretty and and even though I doubt we will have kids of our own ever, that movie makes me want to produce a little family.
The dogs are cute, snoring away in the background.
I am excited to start school next week, hoping that I will make some new friends who have the same goals or lifestyle as me. They don't have to be exactly like me, but just a little close. I have a lot of friends, but I don't really feel connected to anyone but bunny right now. And that is fine, and I love them, but....... I don't know.
I look forward to having a study partner or something. My best friend now is a little younger than me and drinks a lot. I don't judge, but if I do hang out with her I have to plan on drinking. She has a bunch of new friends that I think are good for her, but I personally can't stand them. They are always over dressed and looking for attention. She was my drinking friend before I met bunny and I wish that we could do other things together. But I don't try to change people, cause that isn't fair. And my childhood best friend is now a political activist and and we are worlds apart. I like to help people and society, but I get panic attacks just thinking about how screwed up the world is. I respect her drive to try to change things, but I do like to somewhat live blindly about life and chose ignorance instead of knowing how fucked everything is. But we get along great and she is more like a sister than a friend.
So hopefully I don't sound whiny. I am looking forward to starting school and living the dream that I have been planning for the last year. I also am a little weirded out about how much I really miss my old job. I will have it back in the spring, but I never thought I would feel this way!!!

6 comments:

average rai said...

We have so many parallels, it's eerie. I don't see my best friend much either. We used to be drinking buddies, until I started dating Significant Other. I slowed way down on going out. She went to rehab, which is great. She has a new set of friends, and I understand why we don't see eachother much. A lot of my friends are still big drinkers, and it's too much of a temptation for her to be around. I'm somewhere in the middle, I guess.

Different things make me happy now. I'm content to stay home on the weekends with Significant Other. I'd much rather have a couple friends over for dinner!

bunbun said...

oh me too!!!!!
i feel in the middle, too, i still like to drink and have fun, but not krazy style!

bunbun said...

by the way I have post called rainy day muffins that are whole grain and i think pretty good!!!

average rai said...

Significant Other will LOVE these! I can't wait to try them. My grandparents have honeybees on their land, and I get TUBS of their honey every year. I'm always looking for new ways to use it.

That is one thing that is really great about living in a farming/ranching area. I know the people that raise my beef. I can literally look at the cows if I wanted too! My mom spoils me with her huge garden (they live in the country in the middle of nowhere). Fresh honey. My dad is a hunter, but only for what we'll eat. It's nice to know exactly where my food comes from.

bunbun said...

i LOVE that!!!!!!!!!! Honey is considered gold here in Oregon. It is really important to me where my food comes from. I grew up eating fruit and veg that we grew. Bunny's grandma has a cattle farm (where we got married) and they grow fresh corn, etc.Everyone that grew up on that farm looks super healthy and has a glow to them that you don't see here in the city. When we spend weekends there I always feel so refreshed. I love that kind of life. It is our dream/goal that when I finish school (in like 8 years) for bunny to quit his job and we will have a farm and he will run the farm and I will work in the city. Hopefully there will be farmland left when I finish school!
There are a lot of farmer's markets here and they sell cool honey products. I have been reading on how bees are becoming endangered in Oregon, which is weird. I love honey and it is so good for you!

average rai said...

The next time I get to my grandparents house, I will get you some honey. And I will have it shipped! They send at least a half gallon with me all the time.